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jagov808
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« on: September 08, 2016, 20:39 » |
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Does anyone wonder how our old pal is faring? Last I heard he was couch surfing in homes a buddy was flipping.
Where do they all go when they leave us? Did NJ not show him enough affection?
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jagov808
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« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2016, 18:27 » |
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Folks, I am showing you the Christmas of the future like Dickensian novel. If your only mark is to be a rankwhore, the people will forget you and move on without ever giving you a single thought.
CBASS had as a great a run as all the present day rank whores, yet what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but to lose his soul.
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jagov808
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« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2016, 20:20 » |
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Sure a quick hand job would buy CBASS a place to stay for the night in times past; but we're all not getting any younger. How much longer will he be able to trade on his bronzed torso for a roof over his head. When the time comes that even octogenarians from New Zealand no longer see his appeal, what will he do then? Will his record of wins keep him warm at night?
Think hard on this lady (fluffy) and gentlemen.
We could all learn a thing or two from our pal Gohar. As an esteemed British professional he has a plan B, when the gravitational pull of Irata can no longer drag him in.
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jagov808
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« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2016, 22:10 » |
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Playing Mule at the top level can sure be a heady drug for some. Careful you don't over do it. Word on the street is that CBASS was caught with his hand down his pants and a quart of malted beverage (Ovaltine) spilled all over himself when his buddy was showing the place he was staying to a prospective buyer.
It could happen to you. Many players stay up late, play multiple games, high as a kite on Ovaltine to power through their sleepiness. One day you are drinking a glass of Ovaltine, the next day you are mixing it up by the gallon. I don't know if it was that incident which lead CBASS to give up Mule and Ovaltine but it surely was a wake up call.
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jagov808
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« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2016, 14:46 » |
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Yes folks, it is possible that a once great MULE superstar could now be living in the gutter. Word on the street is that our friend is now living out of a ramshackle hut. Quite nice as far as they go, he has managed to tether several large boxes together. Apparently, next to a dumpster which serves as both a pantry and makeshift washroom. He does have an old Motorola phone so perhaps if the game is translated to Android OS he will once again join us. The wifi emanating from the local taco joint is quite powerful. He is in good spirits, weather is decent in the south west. Hopefully, things will look up from here for one of the most powerful legends of the game.
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jagov808
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« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2016, 13:23 » |
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There are rumours that Nordel is heading down the same track. Flush with cash from his successful branding of piss jugs, Nordel is apparently squandering it all on an Ovaltine bender. With friends in the goat herding community in Kazakhstan from his Eurasian promotional tour it is unlikely he will end up on skid row like CBASS, but still many are concerned.
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jagov808
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« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2016, 01:05 » |
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The worst appears to be true, we now have first hand accounts that Nordel too has succumbed to a hard-core Ovaltine addiction. It's an addiction that runs rampant in the Mule community. He had been clean for several weeks when he met up with an avid fan. This fan traded some raw Ovaltine for a used piss jug with a few millimetres of urine. Nordel has attracted some fans with peculiar habits over the years. Things started out ok, a spoonful here and there, but soon the addiction came raging back and he was going through a canister every few days. Like CBASS he has traded on his bronzed torso amongst people in a community with a penchant for such things. Now though, bloated by Ovaltine abuse, even his most diehard fans are turning their back in his hour of need. If only there was a place these former legends could go to get clean.
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jagov808
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« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2016, 16:15 » |
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Some of you may be asking, where does Motorman fit into all of this? Good question, especially in light of the four retirements over the past year in quick succession. While the lifestyle of sex, drugs and Mule seems glamourous, the truth: furtive handjobs by 56 year old men in dark alleyways, and bloated stomachs from years of excessive Ovaltine paints quite a different picture.
Could Motorman be going into rehab during this stints of retirement?
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jagov808
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« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2016, 00:29 » |
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At the bottom of Motorman's reluctance to branch out and play a wider swathe of players is his intense desire to keep his Ovaltine abuse and other lifestyle choices from getting out. Rho and NJ battling their own malted beverage addictions likely have an informal pact to keep a lid on the secret.
Through secret sources we are now able to confirm that Motorman was seen with a two gallon jug of pre-mixed Ovaltine while wandering the streets. CBASS, Nordel and now Motorman. It is an epidemic reeking havoc on the Mule community.
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« Last Edit: October 02, 2016, 00:35 by jagov808 »
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jagov808
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« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2016, 23:20 » |
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We have just received some further info on Motorman. Apparently he tried to go with skim milk, thinking the lower fat content would act as harm reduction given the amount he needs each day. It hasn't helped. He has lactose issues, and has been spreading flatulence in his midst. Sometime several months ago he switched to goat milk. There is no word on how that move has impacted him.
We have heard of some real down and out characters mixing their Ovaltine with tap water. Let's hope motorman can get things under control before he reaches that level. We have had some fans write in suggesting he make the move to soy milk. Unfortunately, given his low T numbers we don't feel we can encourage that at this moment.
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« Last Edit: October 02, 2016, 23:23 by jagov808 »
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motorman
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« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2016, 02:49 » |
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Geez, I must've hurt you bad. Don't worry baby. After a while the pain recedes. It never really goes away but, let's be honest, you never want it to.
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NJDevil
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« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2016, 00:42 » |
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funny thing is yes I drink a ton of water ice tea lime aid and orange juice but no beer.
Why is jagov mad? because we don't play with his buddy? Nope we don't. And we enjoy the game more as a result.
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Death_Mule17
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« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2016, 06:45 » |
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Nj you are so gay for moto, youve only started dodging me since his 4th retirement ended a few months ago. I mean how schoolyard is you man, imo NJ has officially lost his nut sack!! I believe its in motos bathroom ...sitting in a jar.
Help make NJ become a man again guys, sad days
Mballs
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motorman
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« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2016, 20:06 » |
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It's a tribute to your insanity that if I don't play for a couple months you label me "retired" and then get upset because I start playing again. I'm sorry that reality doesn't conform to the nonsense in your head and it's pretty weird that you keep track of my comings and goings.
And since NJ and I aren't ignorant fools we don't consider homosexuality to be a negative which renders your insult pretty meaningless.
So Sir Ron, NJ, and I all won't play you and the problem is with us, right?
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« Last Edit: October 10, 2016, 20:43 by motorman »
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jagov808
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« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2016, 17:56 » |
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Moto I ought to warn you, I think NJ might be the type to stray. Keep that in mind if wedding bells are on the horizon.
Also, you really ought to focus on the burgeoning piss jug market right now. If Rho hits the market before you I don't think your jug stands a chance. While the jug market as a whole has room to grow and accommodate many newcomers to the business the premium segment is quite niche.
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