NJ at risk of losing special status

[jagov808]

Followers of Planet Mule have long since referred to the journeymen of Irata as NJ-tier. Recent performance has put that special status at risk. NJ himself the name-bearer of this group has slipped so far as to fall into 'Cyber-tier'. Cyber Ranger will not want to relinquish control over that category easily and it's a small but competitive league in its own right with men like: mametoc, Lenin post returning from absence.

Just like America itself the middle is being torn apart and only the elite and those at the bottom are growing in numbers. Elites are getting even better at the game, some noobs under Mulesball's tutelage are jumping the middle entirely and heading straight to elitedom. All that's going to be left in the middle are guys like Big E who doesn't play often enough anymore to refine his game, Judas whose tourettes sometimes interferes with his winrates, and folks like Hugs4drugs and Dank whose drug abuse keeps them from rising to the top.

We are putting NJ under negative watch, if he can't come up with a win in the next 10 matches we will be forced to downgrade him. The community will lose structure and all the heritage and lore that comes with the classic NJ-tier. We need this group of people. Who else will say "do the move, +60,+60" over and over again each round? These folks form the bedrock. We can't all be highflyers like Nordel.  

16. Jun 2015 OWE-2609 (11.59) C64MuleBoot +1.8 NJDevil +1.2 atari400 +0.2 majicmule -3.1 finished legally
15. Jun 2015 Irata-3048 (92.85) mule_be_ok +0.7 NJDevil +0.2 DarkWolf -2.0 <B.I.L.L.> finished legally
15. Jun 2015 Irata-3046 (92.83) mr.earl +2.6 MulesBalls 0.0 T1gerK -0.3 NJDevil -2.1 finished legally
14. Jun 2015 Bot4U-1599 (68.80) Wahnsinn +1.7 danknugg +1.3 hug4drugs -1.1 NJDevil -1.8 finished legally
13. Jun 2015 Bot4U-1593 (69.73) MULEugenics +6.3 AlpenCactus -0.3 NJDevil +0.0 atari400 -1.7 finished legally
12. Jun 2015 Irata-3028 (51.94) C-128 +1.8 GoodLuck +2.3 NJDevil -0.5 ancho -3.2 finished legally
11. Jun 2015 JZI-0037 (51.95) Gohar +1.8 judas +1.2 Lionel-HutzX -1.3 NJDevil -1.7 finished legally
11. Jun 2015 ChuckBot-169 (82.02) Gohar +0.6 atari400 +0.4 <A.D.A.M.> NJDevil -1.1 finished legally
10. Jun 2015 ChuckBot-164 (22.75) Cyber Ranger +3.7 judas +0.3 Durr -1.5 NJDevil -2.2 finished legally
9. Jun 2015 Rho's-Bot-187 (42.74) majicmule +1.6 atari400 +1.3 NJDevil -0.5 danknugg -2.4 finished legally
8. Jun 2015 IVB-4005 (34.71) majicmule +1.7 NJDevil +0.9 mr.earl -0.5 kirkus -2.0 finished legally
7. Jun 2015 Bot4U-1559 (45.30) MULEugenics +17.0 Gohar +0.0 NJDevil +0.3 Agitator -2.8 finished legally
7. Jun 2015 ZTL-7331 (45.23) Agitator +2.0 MrGood -0.9 Cyber Ranger +1.2 NJDevil -2.3 finished legally
6. Jun 2015 AVW-8327 (45.25) MULEugenics +18.5 Gohar -0.4 NJDevil -0.3 kirkus -1.8 finished legally
6. Jun 2015 ChuckBot-145 (42.33) MrGood +1.6 Acavia +0.3 judas -0.2 NJDevil -1.8 finished legally
6. Jun 2015 ChuckBot-144 (39.35) judas +2.0 NJDevil +0.8 Cyber Ranger +1.2 Gohar -3.9 finished legally
6. Jun 2015 Rho's-Bot-181 (40.35) - - - - abandoned
5. Jun 2015 Irata-3010 (44.20) judas +2.7 AlpenCactus -0.3 C-128 -0.4 NJDevil -1.9 finished legally
5. Jun 2015 IQM-8131 (40.15) mikkoaalto +2.2 MrGood 0.0 Agitator -0.7 NJDevil -1.6 finished legally
4. Jun 2015 ChuckBot-137 (37.13) judas +2.2 NJDevil +0.8 Heisenberg -1.1 mametoc -2.0 finished legally

[jagov808]

Yesterday he even went so far as to play Cyber Ranger, Atari400 and a Hugs4Drugs knock off in a desperate bid to remove the stench of defeat. Alas, the effort failed. The only way forward might be to go on the black market and trade current wins for future wins with our Mexican member in some type of weekly badge arbitrage.

If our Mexican is still contractually engaged with the esteemed British professional than finally NJ may have to simply offer sexual favours to gain that elusive win. Our database experts have concluded that 17% of planet mule members might be open to trading virtual food and energy for real life acts of penetrative sexual contact. It would certainly be a costly endeavor though given that most of them reside on the other side of the Atlantic from NJ's current abode.

 

[NJDevil]

I am shamed!  But let us not compare thee to CR status!!!  For in many that I have lost I have come 2nd or 3rd. Where CR has a way to usually wiff at 4th.  I request that I not be considered CR status but a new status be made such as say a Garden State Status....near the dirt but not rock bottom as a CR status would indicate!

Oh and as for sexual favors.....lets hook up and see where things go.

[jagov808]

We are not there yet, but another series of heavy losses could lead to relegation to the cyber-tier.

As for the sexual favors, I believe NJ has made a fair offer folks, I'm sure he will be deluged with many takers.

Just make sure you kids practice your carnal relations safely: no Ovaltine 30 minutes prior to intercourse.

[NJDevil]

  People...I'm hurting....sliding into the nether regions of this game......what is wrooooong with me!!!  I neeeed heeeeelp!

[jagov808]

Perhaps some time off could sharpen your game it has worked wonders for Atari400.

He went from being low cyber tier prior to the break to high cyber tier. For a while he was the best chance we had of having a cyber tier player win gold. A dream yes, but anything is possible. The Berlin wall has fallen and the 1976 Decathlon gold medal winner is now a woman.

You need to rediscover yourself. Make some sexual mistakes on the Jersey shore with questionable characters. Whatever it takes to come back stronger than ever. Perhaps a syphilitic fever would bring passion and insight to your game.

[NJDevil]

If all of you would send me just $1.89 a day (price of a large cup of coffee)...I could drink a couple of cups of coffee....and with the rest rediscover myself on MULE.

[jagov808]

HUGE WIN for NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope Judy and Deathmule were satisfied with NJ's services and their accounts are all squared up.

[NJDevil]

I believe in my last several games, I have re-established my title/level.

Oh mametec is a cunt.

[jagov808]

'Oh mametec is a cunt.'

We can't tolerate this type of language here, we are an inclusive community. It's not been determined fully what the issues are with this person. They may be retarded, the reconstructive surgery on their genitals might have been botched, still others claim this person comes from Iberia and hence can't speak English.

Let's all try and get along. We should be thankful that mametoc is here. It is a real victory for humanity and our technological progress that this person is able to log on and play with us. There are some upper Cyber-tier players who cannot yet beat bots like J.I.M., for those people mametoc offers some respite and a chance to not come in 4th. 

[NJDevil]

WTF are you talking about....that is a new national antherm I am working on for an Island nation Named Mametec.

BTW have I preserved my status yet

[jagov808]

I believe you probably have but it's not for me to say. A council of elites must meet and debate the subject before anything becomes official.

[NJDevil]

true........sooooooooooooooooooo true