Tournament Mode - 12 Rounds

Need 4 players to start - Max 2 computer players allowed

Pescado joined the game in slot 1

Pescado unjoined the game

hightekvagabond visits

hightekvagabond joined the game in slot 1

Pescado: Private game, get your own.

hightekvagabond unjoined the game

hightekvagabond: ya know what, I don't care that it's a private game, but you don't have to be an ass about how you say it :P

hightekvagabond left the game

Kewian visits

Kewian is not logged in

Games are ranked only if 2 or more players are logged in

Kewian joined the game in slot 1

Kewian unjoined the game

Elvie visits

trixie visits

trixie is not logged in

trixie joined the game in slot 1

Added computer player <A.L.A.N.>

Elvie joined the game in slot 3

<A.L.A.N.> was kicked

trixie: WHALE

Kewian joined the game in slot 2

Pescado joined the game in slot 4

trixie: WAKE UP

Pescado: I begin to think it was the WHale's fault.

Kewian: YOu want soup.

Kewian: I did nothing wrong. Dammit.

trixie: It is clearly the Whale's fault, yes.

trixie: I have decent ping times.

Kewian: Say it again. and kiss the game goodbye

Pescado: SPACE

trixie: And I had decent ping times last game, too...

Pescado: Quit staring vacantly into space and MOVE.

trixie: So it was CLEARLY the Whale's fault.

Kewian: goodbye

trixie: SOUP!

Kewian: will you stop??

Elvie: oh shit

Kewian: STOP NOW

Pescado: PUSH SPACE AND QUIT WHINING.

Round 1 of 12

trixie: Elvie, the SOUP is more hilarious than the possibility of playing, I'm afraid.

Kewian: YOU FUCKED IT UP AND BLAME ME??

Kewian: YOU Cannot even be a man???

Elvie: quit arguing or you'll miss your plots

trixie: Ugh, Whale, it was not my fault.

Pescado: We have no idea who fucked it up, and it frankly doesn't matter.

trixie: And yes, I missed TWO plots because the Whale sucks and distracted me.

Pescado: It is traditional that someone is blamed anyway.

Kewian: Dont blame me. I wont take it

Kewian: I have had enough

trixie: It is obviously the Whale's fault.

trixie: Everything is, except when it is the Butt's fault, and the Butt isn't here.

Kewian: trixie I am only staying for Elvie's sake.

Elvie: thanks

Pescado: BLAME IS VERY IMPORTANT TO MATY.

Pescado: This is why things are always the Butt's fault, for instance.

Kewian: THis has weaselly pawprints all over it.

trixie: No, it is the Whale's fault.

trixie: Also, Elvie, if the Whale soups, then perhaps she will be replaced by Pescado's Wife.

trixie: Wouldn't you prefer that?

Elvie: Not sure...

trixie: The Wife is way better at the game, for one thing.

Kewian: `trixie its your computer YOU DID IT> BE A MAN.

trixie: The Wife is MEAN and nonsuck.

trixie: Kewian: It's not my bomputer.

trixie: The problem had nothing to do with me.

trixie: Er, computer.

trixie: If I had an /me, I would so be hacking off my fingers right now for you all. :'(

Pescado: Fingerless Trixies are always funny.

trixie: Yes!

Elvie: no greed!

trixie: For some reason, slow CPU times always make me spell badly.

Pescado: And th Whale greeds, thus causing a food shortage.

trixie: With decent times, I can spell perfectly, but, the second I can no longer backspace, my spelling fails.

trixie: I swear, this computer is malevolent.

Round 2 of 12

Pescado: I don't tink there will be enough time to plant it,unfortunately.

trixie: I think there might be barely enough.

trixie: Won't be enough time for YOU, though.

trixie: Oh, fine, prove me wrong. :P

Pescado: WOH-pah!

trixie: Hey, everyone, what are your FPS values?

Pescado: Yeah, no Elvie time.

Elvie: 391ms

trixie: Not PING, FPS.

Pescado: 60

Elvie: oh, 60

Pescado: Probably capped out there.

Pescado: Anything higher than monitor refresh is totaly useless.

trixie: Pfeh. I scoff at your 60. I'm averaging 15, peaking 20, troughing 8.

trixie: THIS IS WHY I KEEP FAILING SO BADLY.

Elvie: damn

Pescado: And now we're really going to starve.

trixie: Although it does go up to 55 during the march to the score list.

Pescado: TIGHT rationing this time.

Pescado: ONE PERSON AT A TIME.

Pescado: DAMMIT.

trixie: WHALE

Kewian: I pulled back quick as I could.

trixie: WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Pescado: Now the food shortage will CONTINUE because the WHALE DID IT AGAIN.

trixie: You already HAD food.

trixie: You did not need more!

trixie: There was enough food for everyone to get 1. You already HAD one.

Pescado: Someone is going to have to plant backup food.

Kewian: I had a shortage too.

Round 3 of 12

Pescado: Two people are gonna have to plant backup food.

trixie: Won't have time to *develop* it, but meh.

Pescado: OFFSIDES

Kewian: SHIT'

trixie: Backup food planters should be Kewhale and Pescado, since they both have some food.

Pescado: Stop doing that.

trixie: She clearly can't USE it.

Kewian: STUPID TRIXIE

Kewian: YES IC OULD YOU STUPID ASSHOLE

trixie: I mean, look. I let her have it finally, and she doesn't buy it.

trixie: Clearly, she could not have maintained it.

trixie: Therefore, it should have gone to my stripmine.

Kewian: OH YES I COULD HAVE OH FUCK NO

trixie: That wasn't even English.

Kewian: you really need to stop now.

Pescado: Whale, plant food in the backup plots.

trixie: That was just random words spewed across the page in something that someone who speaks Mandarin might think was a sentence.

Pescado: You can switch them out later.

Pescado: Since YOU CAUSED THIS FOOD SHORTAGE.

Pescado: You forgot to food the OTHER one.

trixie: Either food it or sell it, dipshit.

Pescado: Do both.

trixie: Don't just sit on it like a twat.

Pescado: Especially since it wasted all the TIME, too.

Elvie: heh

trixie: AND made us sit through an auction.

Pescado: AND it stalled teh auction.

Pescado: WHY DO YOU NOT FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS?

Kewian: why should I? I get nothing but badmouthed.

trixie: I don't think a bot would be as bad as this, honestly.

Pescado: A bot would get in everyone's way.

Pescado: A nullslot would be better, really.

Pescado: NO

Pescado: You'd better move fast if you're going to replant both foods on short time.

trixie: If WHALE had sold, I wouldn't have had to.

trixie: Whale had a surplus, but she just sits on it.

Pescado: MOVE

Pescado: DOWN

trixie: ELVIE

trixie: CBS

Pescado: We will devlock if you do not donw.

Pescado: WHY DO YOU NOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS?!?

Round 4 of 12

Pescado: Why does the Whale stubbornly refuse to follow orders?

trixie: Because she is stupid and sucks.

Kewian: what now?

trixie: Remember when she was nattering on about leadership?

Pescado: You were NOT SUPPOSED TO STAND THERE.

Pescado: You were supposed to go DOWN.

trixie: This here proves that she was basically bullshitting then.

Pescado: ALWAYS MOVE TO THE LINE I TELL YOU TO MOVE TO.

Kewian: I might listen if people would slow down on the insults and stop the shit.

trixie: Whatever you do, DON'T waste half your stolen time in the pub.

trixie: Do everything you can first.

trixie: FAIL

Pescado: MOVE

Pescado: STOP STANDING THERE.

Kewian: It wouldnt move.

Kewian: IT stalled.

Pescado: You never have permission to stop moving for any reason.

Pescado: ALWAYS MOVE.

Pescado: WHY DID YOU NOT PLANT?!?

trixie: You should have done the adjacent one first.

trixie: For the production bonii.

Elvie: I didn't think I had time for a 2nd

Pescado: You DO.

trixie: And you DID have time.

Pescado: Controlled sell, 4 units.

trixie: Kewhale, WTF?

trixie: Are you HIGH?

Pescado: Least we have some food again.

Pescado: Sell one down.

Pescado: Now, PLANT ALL THE FOODS THIS TURN.

trixie: I have provinces further away that I need to deal with, so I took as much food as I could. And Kewhale's just a hog.

trixie: ELVIE

trixie: WHAT WAS THAT?

trixie: Anyway, I tried to pull at -1, but I didn't make it in time.

Kewian: I did not hog the food. I pulled away as quick as I could.

Round 5 of 12

trixie: Umm.

trixie: Why are we so SLOW?

Pescado: Probably YOU.

Kewian: Everybody's fault but yours.

trixie: Nah, my ping's decent.

trixie: Can't be my fault.

trixie: Heh. A mite premature. Oops.

Pescado: See, told you it was you.

trixie: No, it wasn't me.

trixie: I just hit the button too early because I was expecting it to take longer to shift.

trixie: It was entirely user error, not a network problem. Ping has increased slightly but is still within normal bounds.

Elvie: SHIFT

Elvie: I will cut you

Pescado: PLANT THEM BOTH THIS TIME.

Pescado: FOOD, idiot.

trixie: Also, we are approaching second smithore bubble rapidly, with shit ore levels.

trixie: Er, first, not second, but still. :P

Pescado: WTF is WRONG with you people?!?

Elvie: Sleepy...

Pescado: It is definitely the WHALE's fault.

trixie: Yes.

Elvie: ALL PIXEL LOOK SAME

Pescado: WTF are you doing?

trixie: She is being COMPLETELY RETARDONKULOUS.

Pescado: WHy are you NOT PLANTING ENERGY?

Kewian: YOUR STUPID CRAP IS FUCKING IT UP

Kewian: I cant tell when the lag will stop.

trixie: YOUR MUM IS FUCKING IT UP.

trixie: And you're the only one with lag.

Kewian: Crybaby weasel. Stupid 12 cant accept responsiblity.

Elvie: Oh dear.

trixie: Kewian: IT IS STILL NOT MY FAULT.

trixie: FFS, my ping time is FINE.

Pescado: No, it's definitely the Whale's fault. I saw it doing the lagwalk.

trixie: The network on my end? Fine.

trixie: THE ONLY ONE BEING SUCK IS WHALE.

trixie: Ergo, it is the Whale's fault.

Elvie: I'm kinda suck, too.

Elvie: Past my bedtime.

Pescado: QUIT WHINING.

trixie: Yes, but you aren't lagging.

Pescado: What are you, 6? Adults don't have bedtimes!

Elvie: I do try to pay attention...

Kewian: IVe had it. I wont take the blame for this.

trixie: SOUP'D?

trixie: You won't take the blame, because it is CLEARLY YOUR FAULT.

Pescado: MOVE DOWN

Pescado: QUIT STARING INTO SPACE.

Kewian: fuck you I did not cause this

trixie: Don't sell to the store.

trixie: If you want to sell low, at least sell to a person.

Pescado: DOWN MOAR

Pescado: QUIT STARING INTO SPACE AND MOVE.

Elvie: jeebus

Pescado: I was yelling at the WHALE.

trixie: Whale is terminally stupid, Elvie. Don't let it bother you.

Elvie: Oh, I don't.

Pescado: HIT SPACE ALREADY.

trixie: SOUP'D??

trixie: I am seriously on the edge of my chair waiting for the soup.

Kewian: I think I will sit here and be stupid some more.

trixie: SOUP'D

trixie: FINALLY

Elvie: come on, kewian..

trixie: OMG, so much suspense.

Round 6 of 12

Pescado: Whale, if you don't quit jacking off, I'm going to ban you from the site completely.

Elvie: Tune in next week for...

trixie: UNSOUP'D!

Kewian: I want to play but Trixie needs to lay OFF

Pescado: Then you need to DO AS YOU ARE TOLD.

Elvie: I really had to mash the spacebar that time

trixie: Well, I will admit that laying off the Whale is better than laying ON the whale.

Pescado: And right now, that means PLANTING MOAR ENERGY and selling your stray plot.

Pescado: Notice how *I* am always purposeful and move rapidly to my destination. And I NEVER STOP MOVING.

Kewian: I dont know when to stop pushing when it lags.

Pescado: Always diagonally walk.

Pescado: If you diagonal walk, you will simply skate off the wall and keep moving.

trixie: Kewian, I have something worse than bad lag: Shitty framerate.

Elvie: do we need moar smithore?

trixie: And yet I manage to limit my fail.

Pescado: Refit the food mule.

trixie: Elvie: We need more nonsuckitude.

Pescado: And no, we don't really need more smithore.

Pescado: WHale needs to refit the extra food into energy.

Elvie: Oh, I can't wait to see what happens...

trixie: I have also noticed that MULE is making Elvie really hit Stage 4 hard.

Elvie: heh

Pescado: Most things that that effect.

trixie: Yes. But games are the most powerful with it.

Elvie: cheep?

Pescado: Protips: Always just follow whatever I do in the auction.

Pescado: WHale DOWN.

trixie: I always follow what Pescado does in an auction in advance.

trixie: Whale wants a food shortage, I take it?

Round 7 of 12

Pescado: Why are you on MY side?

trixie: Oh, damn it.

Kewian: fuck

trixie: I hit space when it was on MY province.

Elvie: oh, again?

trixie: Although hur.

Pescado: Well, now you get to go tag it.

trixie: I will, fear not.

trixie: Not being the Whale, I always tag accidental-grab provinces promptly.

trixie: Also, now YOU get to go tag one, too. :P

Kewian: you are really pushing it.

Elvie: mah land!

Kewian: `make my spacebar work better.

trixie: Clean out all the semen your son left inside the keyboard, and it will.

Pescado: ENERGY.

trixie: FAIL

Pescado: Why would you haul a food mule BACK to food?

Elvie: MAH LAND DAMMIT

trixie: She's done it twice before, yoo.

trixie: Er, too.

trixie: She does that with food mules all the time.

trixie: Welfare. :P

Kewian: you do it all the time you motherfucking hypocrite

trixie: I NEVER haul a food mule back to food.

trixie: That would be Stupid.

Kewian: yes that was stupid but all this fighting is not helping me one bit`

trixie: Assay the one right above.

Pescado: no point, the bloom is pinned now.

trixie: It is?

Pescado: Ys

trixie: Alright. I didn't notice.

Pescado: You were bad at minesweeper, weren't you?

trixie: I'm good at minesweeper.

trixie: I play it all the time.

trixie: Well, not really that often, actually, but I do find it fun when nothing better presents itself. :P

Pescado: Based on how fail certain people were, I think we are not going to get second smithore.

Elvie: MAN, I'm poor.

Pescado: Yeah, food up.

Kewian: food hogs

Pescado: You can hog when there's +18 surplus.

trixie: We are hogging nothing.

trixie: There's tons of extra for you if you wanted it.

trixie: Instead, you are being whiny.

Pescado: Energy down.

Pescado: MOVE DOWN

Round 8 of 12

trixie: Oi!

trixie: KLUDGES IN MY SECTOR.

Pescado: Yeah, I'll have it tagged.

Elvie: Mine too

trixie: Bah.

Elvie: yeehaw

trixie: Hey, by the way, did the Wife ever tell you her reasoning for how the provinces should be divided?

Pescado: No, I didn't get to ask.

trixie: Because I still don't get why the farm should be SW.

Elvie: aww

trixie: On the other hand, energy should of course be in the east because it is in the east of the town centre...

trixie: But food is always grown in the same place ANYWAY, so where the auxilliaries are shouldn't matter.

trixie: FFS

trixie: I hate being first.

trixie: We're going to get a shitty score, you know.

trixie: Elvie, don't be so eager to sell. Food prices need to go UP, not down.

Elvie: k

Round 9 of 12

Elvie: cock

Kewian: wtf

Elvie: trixie put a curse on my spacebar

trixie: Yes, exactly. A voodoo hex.

trixie: With chicken's blood in.

Elvie: why no no liek meh

trixie: Oh, you misunderstand.

trixie: I don't do it because I don't like you, I just do it because it's funny.

Elvie: boo

Pescado: WOH-pah!

trixie: Ninja badgers.

Pescado: Whalefare!

Pescado: What, not planting the other one?

trixie: You had plenty of time, you should have.

Elvie: It's not mine yet...

trixie: Yes it is.

Elvie: I missed it during the last landgrab

Pescado: Not that one.

trixie: Not THAT one.

trixie: The one next to the farms.

Elvie: Oh, shit, I forgot about that one.

Pescado: Kewhale's powers of navigation stink.

trixie: She's simply not used to moving about on land.

Kewian: lag

Kewian: go to hell

Kewian: `

Kewian: lovely

Kewian: `

trixie: WHAT IS WITH THE `?

Pescado: Yeah, what is that? This isn't The sims. There's no pause.

trixie: The ` key is nowhere n ear the keys you should be pressing.

trixie: near*

Pescado: I have no idea what Elvie is thinking.

Pescado: 140 is nearly as high as it will get...

Kewian: yay.. big profit.

trixie: I would have sold it to her if she had stayed there. :P

Elvie: I hit the wrong direction...

Pescado: You weren't supposed to HIT anything.

Pescado: Elvie, hogging is bad!

trixie: Hogs.

Elvie: :(

Pescado: ANd whale needs to plant moar energy.

trixie: Elvie wants to sabotage me so she gets second place.

trixie: And it WORKED!

Round 10 of 12

Pescado: Plant energy in both flats, Whale.

Kewian: yup

trixie: Am I the only one pissed that Kewhale got a Crystite bloom? There is no justice.

Pescado: Well, in a dynamic situation, you would then switch to energy while the Whale does Crystite.

Kewian: no that is poetic justice

Pescado: But with a bunch of hamtards, it's not worth the risk.

Pescado: REmember, whale. Energy on BOTH empties, and you have the turn-time for it.

trixie: But the whale is about as dynamic as BASIC, right.

trixie: Also, Kewhale has interesting ideas of "poetic justice".

Elvie: go go speedracer

Pescado: Punch cards, more like.

trixie: Less. A punch card, at least, can change by tearing in interesting ways.

Elvie: HORRAY

Pescado: Like a punch card with all the holes punched.

trixie: Although she has the same ability to somehow inexplicably manage to get stuck in the slot and break the whole half-million dollar machine...

Elvie: okay to replace a food plot?

Pescado: Lke a punh card with all the holes punched.

Pescado: Yes.

trixie: Exactly, Pescado.

trixie: That is what Kewhale is.

Pescado: Hey, Elvie lucked out.

Pescado: Her waiting nets her an extra $4 a unit. :P

trixie: This is true.

trixie: Also, 67/turn?

trixie: That is impressive.

Elvie: I'm in the money!

Kewian: damn

Kewian: i give up

Pescado: Fortunately for you, energy should be up.

trixie: So, Elvie, believe what I said about Foodlord guaranteeing 2nd if done right, yet?

Elvie: yes

Pescado: By turn 11, any surplus food should just be storedumped.

Pescado: Food will not recover at this point and the need for it has floored out.

Elvie: got it

Pescado: Bah, hogs.

trixie: Heh.

Elvie: not me

trixie: Right, I totally did that on purpose to sabotage you.

trixie: *eyeroll*

Round 11 of 12

trixie: Can't mine in the river.

Pescado: I woner if that is still possible.

Pescado: Yeah, no.

trixie: Game prevents it.

trixie: Erosion is the handwave.

trixie: BOTH minings.

Pescado: STill can't mine.

trixie: No mining on river ever.

trixie: FAIL

Pescado: A very early version let you mine in the river.

Elvie: FAIL

Pescado: But traditionally, you can't mine the river.

Elvie: I didn't think about that.

Elvie: I am a failtard.

Elvie: Where's my helmet?

trixie: Woh-PAH! Ninja agile. :P

Pescado: Probably have energied it.

Elvie: can you plant energy in the river?

trixie: Yes.

trixie: Non-mine works fine.

Kewian: sighs

trixie: Hey, can anyone tell me how I ended up so far behind in province claiming? I don't really remember what happened.

Pescado: You did too many hamtarded things?

trixie: I was doing fine, and then... I wasn't.

Elvie: I know that feeling.

trixie: I do recall dropping one province in Pescadoterritory by accident, but that still doesn't account.

Pescado: Yeah, that doesn't account because I dropped one on you, so we just exchanged them.

trixie: Yes, exactly.

trixie: So what the hell happened to my provinces?

Pescado: No idea.

Pescado: You failed to claim them at all?

trixie: No, that didn't happen this game.

Pescado: In round 12, energy has no value....

trixie: Hur, overbought due to too much chatting.

Pescado: So the Whale should, after this..

Pescado: Convert.

Pescado: And don't hog the power this time.

Elvie: suspense

trixie: The whale can't convert. Her god is the ONLY true god!!!!!1!!!11!

Round 12 of 12

Kewian: convert to what crystals?

Pescado: everything

Elvie: can I do ANYTHING but go to the pub?

trixie: Also, have you noticed that, at some length, a string of exclamatory marks utterly ceases any pretence at being punctuation, and just looks like a sort of weird thing?

Pescado: Nope, not rly.

Elvie: FUN

trixie: Hm. Interesting. My FPS just skyrocketed into normal range for no discernible reason.

Pescado: Try not running a million tons of crapware.

Pescado: Do you know how old my muling computer is?

trixie: I'm not.

Pescado: You probably are.

Pescado: This computer happens to be a P3 800. :P

Pescado: And I still pull 60.

Elvie: Can you Mule on a dialup connection?

Pescado: I don't see why not.

trixie: Probably, since it deals with lag by forcing everyone to sit through the slow shuffle.

trixie: Heh, I got the magic profit.

Elvie: heh

Kewian: damn I did not mean to do that.

trixie: Stupid Whale.

Pescado: Doesn't matter if the Whale sells or not.

Pescado: It will be included in networth anyway.

trixie: Pescado: No, it DOES, because she bought from me for way over value.

Kewian: nope fail is fail. I give up.

Pescado: Final sell is purely masturbatory.

Pescado: Well, there's that.

Pescado: But that was so small that it will not affect her placement.

trixie: Right, she's going in last no matter what.

trixie: It's only natural.

trixie: She is a whale.

Pescado: Stay down

Pescado: see, we could have skipped this part entirely.

Game Over

Saving score, please wait...

Score saved

Elvie: zomg

trixie: Same as last time.

Pescado: Because of all the HAMTARDISM, yes.

trixie: That seems to be intrinsic to hamtardedness.

Kewian left the game

trixie: Well, Weedy Vegetarian Naptime.