You need 4 players to start a Tournament game.
Only 2 computer players are allowed.
astrofag joined the game in slot 1
2Fat269 visits
2Fat269 joined the game in slot 2
Added computer player <D.A.N.>
Added computer player <B.I.L.L.>
Round 1 of 12
astrofag: Da WUMPUS
astrofag: That animal sticks its head out of the mountains
astrofag: occasionally
astrofag: you can find him and hit space
astrofag: if you see him
astrofag: for money
2Fat269: lol
astrofag: so
astrofag: riverbeds are great for food, plains for electricity, and mountains for ore
astrofag: crystal is rare and underground and random
astrofag: but spreding out from a central HIGH point
astrofag: there are also meteor crashes
2Fat269: so I basically built stupidly already
astrofag: don't worry
astrofag: just get a mountain next round
astrofag: and get a electric place
astrofag: and move him over the ore place, hit space, and move ore to mountain
Round 2 of 12
astrofag: oh, places produce better if you have lots next to each other
astrofag: and two industries next to each other is better too
astrofag: food influences the amount of time you have
astrofag: electricity effects your factories
astrofag: smith factory mines ore
astrofag: crystal factory mines crystal
astrofag: good
astrofag: you ran out of time because of lack fo food
astrofag: shoot for a farm between your two plots
astrofag: to increase effeciency in a row
astrofag: here i am trying to corner market
astrofag: lower right is store market
astrofag: it has zero smithore
astrofag: so we can starve it and raise price of smithore
astrofag: they want to charge you
astrofag: high price
astrofag: to make you pay it
astrofag: lol
astrofag: eep
astrofag: don't go negative
2Fat269: wtf happened
astrofag: not worth it
2Fat269: god damnit
astrofag: you sold more than you ahd
2Fat269: I don't know how to play
astrofag: lol
2Fat269: lol
astrofag: if you have 0
astrofag: don't sell
astrofag: standing on a spot sells
astrofag: it moves you to top
2Fat269: I didn't realize that what I was doing "sells"
astrofag: if you go south and sell more
astrofag: you are selling past zero intentionally, promsign to produce
astrofag: lol
Round 3 of 12
astrofag: they grabbed x 3 mountinas
astrofag: because those produce most smithore
astrofag: the more mountains the more smithore
astrofag: always try to end turn in pub
2Fat269: what's that mean
2Fat269: looks like I"m out of power or something?
2Fat269: god fucking damnit
astrofag: ya gotta have power
astrofag: lol
2Fat269: so tohat's the effect of my fuckup last turn?
astrofag: yeah
astrofag: carry over effect
2Fat269: asdflkasdfl;kasfaf
astrofag: watch this round how food and electricity matter
astrofag: see how i bought out all the food to starve you?
astrofag: competative markets
astrofag: lol
2Fat269: yeah but now you have no money
2Fat269: so who did you really starve
astrofag: but i have assets
2Fat269: that's gonna spoil
astrofag: oh hint
2Fat269: what is stupid about this game is, the concepts are all great
astrofag: see how the robots like to have 1
2Fat269: the UI / controls are MORONIC AND UNUSABLE
astrofag: they know they need 1 extra power in the next turn
astrofag: for the next factory they build
2Fat269: so, playing this game has a lot less to do with having a good strategy
astrofag: so theyalways have 1
2Fat269: instead it seems primarily to involve knowing this gay fucking UI
astrofag: well u learn it fast
Round 4 of 12
astrofag: u should see dchan
astrofag: he's fucking aggressive
astrofag: he fucks up auctions
astrofag: and steals shit from you
astrofag: its more or less lol
2Fat269: wtf I clicked
2Fat269: oh owhat the fuck
2Fat269: I clicked
2Fat269: and never got a property
2Fat269: gay
2Fat269: gay
2Fat269: gay
2Fat269: gay
2Fat269: gay
astrofag: lol pay attention. :D
2Fat269: I wailed on the spacebar
2Fat269: nonstop
2Fat269: for 2 rows worth of shit
2Fat269: and never got a property
2Fat269: so what the fuck
astrofag: did it say click here or press escape to focus the game
2Fat269: gay
2Fat269: you win
astrofag: you had focus in chat window
astrofag: and now in the game window
astrofag: you can come back
2Fat269: you win bro. gay gay gay.
astrofag: just play and learn
astrofag: lol
astrofag: it's got an adjustment thing
2Fat269: a game where the winner is the person who can understand the homosexual UI
2Fat269: no wonder I don't get it
astrofag: so the good things happen to the player in last place
astrofag: and bad things happen to palyer in first place
astrofag: all u have to do is read like 1 page
astrofag: the how-to-play thing
2Fat269: I read it
2Fat269: makes no sense
astrofag: rofl
2Fat269: because I have not been hit in the head
astrofag: what about the youtube videos
2Fat269: I already told you, it says "COMING SOON"
astrofag: and i told u
astrofag: go to youtube
astrofag: and type MULE
astrofag: and watch THOSE videos
astrofag: that fans made playing this
astrofag: not the instructional video
2Fat269: compounding what is horrible about this game
2Fat269: is that it takes FOREVER
2Fat269: we have been playing this for like a half hour
astrofag: haha
2Fat269: and the game is what... a third done?
astrofag: u just bitching
2Fat269: so once you are like me
astrofag: over and over
2Fat269: and don'tknow how to play
2Fat269: and are hopelessly going to lose
astrofag: actually no
2Fat269: your penalty is you get to psend the next 90 minutes
2Fat269: getting assraped
astrofag: i've turned games around by turn six
astrofag: u just need first food
astrofag: then electricity
astrofag: steady investment
2Fat269: every practice game I've played
2Fat269: I've done that
2Fat269: and lost
astrofag: dn't go too soon for industry
2Fat269: to the guy who did smithore
astrofag: u didn't get food before you started
2Fat269: so whatever
2Fat269: every game BEFORE THIS ONE I've gone food and power first
2Fat269: and lost
2Fat269: so I fucking try this
astrofag: lol
2Fat269: and no dice
astrofag: well
astrofag: u are doing it wrong
astrofag: rofl
astrofag: u will get hang of it
astrofag: u just need more play time
Round 5 of 12
astrofag: don't give up
astrofag: just keep playing and seeing what people do
2Fat269: I see what they do
2Fat269: they put the penis
2Fat269: in my anus
2Fat269: problem being
2Fat269: MY penis
2Fat269: doesn't reach my anus
2Fat269: so I can't do that
2Fat269: nice controls
2Fat269: could not back out of buying
2Fat269: g
2Fat269: a
2Fat269: y
astrofag: ya
astrofag: u could
astrofag: you walk back into the safe spot
astrofag: you couldn't bid cause you have no money
2Fat269: right. so I get o spent the next 7 turns waiting ont he foregone conclusion
astrofag: the only person who thinks u r in a losing position is u
2Fat269: OH AND THE SCOREBOARD
astrofag: these bots are retarded
astrofag: man u are like a child
astrofag: I DONT WANT TO PLAY
astrofag: i bet you never finished a game of monopoly in your life
2Fat269: yes sam
2Fat269: I just proved you so totally correct
2Fat269: I just proved how still in teh game I am
2Fat269: by not even having enough time to GET TO MY PROPERTY
astrofag: u need more food
astrofag: next time
astrofag: look at right of screen
2Fat269: WHICH I HAVE TO FUCKING BUILD
astrofag: for the time bar
2Fat269: BUT I CAN'T CUZ I CAN'T GET THERE TO BUILD IT
2Fat269: SO...
2Fat269: and my buddy sam who introduces my newbie ass to the game by playing like a progamer and cornering me out
astrofag: why you no sell shit
astrofag: u have eight units
2Fat269: I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CONTROLS AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY
astrofag: rofl
2Fat269: FOR THE FUCKING 90 TIME
astrofag: buy on top sell on bottom
2Fat269: besides
2Fat269: when Is ell
2Fat269: you tell me you are cornering the market
astrofag: rofl
2Fat269: so every play I make is wrong
astrofag: i am not letting you sell back to house
2Fat269: jesus fuckity fuck
2Fat269: DO I HAVE ENOUGH FOOD TO BE ALLOWED TO PLAY NOW
2Fat269: ffs
astrofag: lol
astrofag: yes
astrofag: you bought so much you have no money
2Fat269: yup
2Fat269: so awesome
2Fat269: I don't konw why you're remotely shocked
astrofag: i am not shocked
astrofag: i'm shocked that u complain
2Fat269: you intentionally bought up all the food and starved me, the absolute newbie who has never ever finished a single game
astrofag: rather than watch and learn
astrofag: lol
astrofag: see?
2Fat269: I mean seriously, what a fucking dick move. don't show me the game. just fucking ruin me right out of the game by turn 3
astrofag: i fell to second
astrofag: the game changes
astrofag: ROFL
astrofag: now u blame me
Round 6 of 12
astrofag: afte ri leave
astrofag: asset will be my fault next
astrofag: lol
2Fat269: congrats
2Fat269: successful troll is successful
astrofag: rofl
2Fat269: you're really talented at it
2Fat269: nicely done with the I BET YOU NEVER FINISHED A GAME OF MONOPOLY EITHER
2Fat269: so
2Fat269: now if I quit a game I am obviously hopelessly wasting my time losing in
astrofag: oh my god are you actually angry
2Fat269: that says something bad about me
astrofag: it's a game jim
astrofag: hang in there
astrofag: just watch and learn trick
astrofag: s
2Fat269: the game is "troll jim"
2Fat269: and all this is is the mechanism for doing so
2Fat269: this isn't about you setting up a game to have some fun time with jim
astrofag: ROFL
astrofag: irlol
astrofag: u are killing me right now
2Fat269: it's about pester jim into playin ga game he doesn't know how to play, then tell him to his face I'M STARVING YOU OUT on turn 3
2Fat269: SEE HOW I AM STARVING YOU
2Fat269: LOOK
2Fat269: I AM STARVING YOU
astrofag: i thought you understood the game enough
astrofag: the bots dont' do that stuff
astrofag: the little tricks
2Fat269: we have been playing this game for FORTY MINUTES
astrofag: so i thought it would be neat for you to learn
2Fat269: and it is half over
astrofag: how to starve someone
astrofag: your turn
2Fat269: this is 80 minutes of just you lapping me
astrofag: time is a wasting
2Fat269: after locking me down on turn 3
astrofag: your turn
astrofag: run to pub
astrofag: to PUB
astrofag: GO TO PUVB
astrofag: jim. mr self destructive
2Fat269: you're hilarious
2Fat269: I cannot count the number of times you've told me that games are a waste of time that could be better spent on something more important
2Fat269: the only time you want me to invest effort is when it adds validity to your glorious victory inturn 3
astrofag: this game is a microcosm of asset
2Fat269: I mean, seriously, if you were remotely serious about playing this game for the enjoyment of playing
2Fat269: youd' say, ok, newbie mistake, let's start over
2Fat269: no you say I'M STARVING YOU
2Fat269: CHECK IT OUT
2Fat269: I STARVED YOU
astrofag: well
astrofag: this isn't a trianing game
astrofag: this is a tournamet game
astrofag: i'm being ranked righ tnow
2Fat269: well whose fucking decision was THAT
astrofag: i thought you said you were ready
astrofag: lol
2Fat269: that just proves my fucking POINT
astrofag: u said something like u were ready
2Fat269: u down for some faggotry MULE Jim Hebert 8:49 sure rivetsquid 8:49 DID YOU STUDY Jim Hebert 8:49 not really but I did play a couple of rounds I have never finishe da gae 8:50 game
astrofag: ya
astrofag: that sounds ready to me
2Fat269: that sounds like the exact opposite of IM READY
astrofag: okay i made a bad judgement call
astrofag: i should have saved starvation and the ovens for when you were more ready
Round 7 of 12
2Fat269: I mean, the way this has gone
2Fat269: I don't know how you'd ever expect me to learn shit
2Fat269: this game is going to take 90 mintues for ONE GAME
astrofag: by watching me play bots, etc
2Fat269: I have no fucking clue what buttons you are hitting
2Fat269: I learn nothing by watching this
astrofag: oh there are only five
astrofag: up down left right and space
2Fat269: well obviously I don't understand
astrofag: okay
2Fat269: when I don't realize that hitting some arrow key means "oversell my energy by 2"
astrofag: well, for the auction screens
astrofag: you choose to be a buyer or seller
astrofag: in three seconds
astrofag: by going up or down
astrofag: top of screen is seller
astrofag: bottome is a buyer
astrofag: so if you want to buy
astrofag: as a buyer
astrofag: you hit up
astrofag: and choose the price at which you will buy a commonedity
astrofag: but after you buy one
astrofag: try moving down
astrofag: to lower price
astrofag: or setting at a priace you think reasonable
astrofag: there is a house price
astrofag: the bottom of screen for a seller
astrofag: if you choose to buy at that price
astrofag: you will basically take the market
astrofag: corner it by prevent the store from buying and making inventory yours
astrofag: so the next round
astrofag: demand is higher
astrofag: and you can sell at a higher rate
astrofag: if you are a seller
2Fat269: this game is sucha fucking mystery
2Fat269: it's basically a RNG
astrofag: you may choose not to sell below a certain point by clicking down
2Fat269: it says "you have a surplus"
2Fat269: literally when it says that it's a total surprise to me
2Fat269: I have no ability to read the game and go ok, here is my burn rate
astrofag: do you see the little box under your character?
2Fat269: here is my production rate
2Fat269: so I'm gonna have a surplus/deficit
astrofag: oh
astrofag: so
astrofag: each plot
astrofag: is like
astrofag: 1 electricity
2Fat269: where the fuck was THAT WRITTEN in any of the mothefucking homosexual instructions
astrofag: i have no idea how to calculate food
astrofag: to be honest
2Fat269: yeah
2Fat269: exactly
2Fat269: nobody does
2Fat269: RNG
2Fat269: someone wins
astrofag: i know you need above 0
astrofag: tho
astrofag: you can't run negative
astrofag: basically spend whatever you need to
astrofag: to get your -negative number positive
Round 8 of 12
astrofag: so next round
astrofag: try to sell your smithore
astrofag: when asked buyer or seller
astrofag: press up
astrofag: to make sure you're in top area
astrofag: as a seller
astrofag: when it says go
astrofag: run down the screen to the price you want
astrofag: or, raise price by running up
astrofag: sell it all
astrofag: so you get some cash to spend
astrofag: on making a smithore factory in the mountains to the south
2Fat269: yeah cuz that'll turn this game around
2Fat269: me and my 3 properties
astrofag: jim
2Fat269: I'M RIGHT ON THE CUSP
astrofag: this is an opporunitity to learn
astrofag: not bitch
2Fat269: I CAN TASTE IT
astrofag: i'm telling you what to do
astrofag: and you're coming up with excuses why you shouldn't take this opporuntity to learn
2Fat269: $5 says you buy it all and corner the market
astrofag: rofl
astrofag: what does that even mean
2Fat269: you're telling me to sell all my stuff
astrofag: jim
2Fat269: after earlier gloating that you bought up all my stuff and cornered the market
astrofag: are you in the office tomorroe
astrofag: let's get a meeting on the calendar
astrofag: so i can explain this to you
astrofag: in kimchee
astrofag: it's really simple
astrofag: sell!
astrofag: stay there
astrofag: now you are at zero
astrofag: if you go down
astrofag: you sell negative
astrofag: you have money, see?
2Fat269: listen, obviously you just want someone to beat up on
astrofag: HAHA
2Fat269: you pester me into playing a game I say I've never finished a single game
astrofag: that's a horrible thing to say
2Fat269: and your sudden reveral in course
astrofag: i don't want someone to beat up on
2Fat269: is obviously self serving
astrofag: hey that's not fair at all
2Fat269: since obviously I'm never going to play this again
astrofag: i have to play this out
astrofag: cause it's a ranked game
astrofag: no choice
astrofag: i'm not gonna win
astrofag: i'm third
astrofag: your accusation of wanting someone to beat up on is unfair
2Fat269: I'M STARVING YOU
2Fat269: LOOK AT HOW I STARVED YOU
astrofag: i thought you were ready for more advanced tactics
2Fat269: THE GUY WHO HAS NEVER MADE IT THROUGH 12 ROUNDS OF THIS GAME
astrofag: that's all
Round 9 of 12
2Fat269: this is literally the longest game I've ever played
astrofag: it's a lot more fun
astrofag: than you may realize
astrofag: in the current situation
astrofag: and i don't mean a malicious fun
astrofag: i mean like, it's interesting to watch the bots
astrofag: once you got the rules down
astrofag: they have some critical flaws
astrofag: they always sell back to store at lowest price for example
astrofag: unless they hit a base price
astrofag: but
astrofag: they rarely every do stuff like buy out someone's food
astrofag: which everyone does in human games
astrofag: making it much more interesting to play
astrofag: to be honest
astrofag: i played a game like this
astrofag: how you are now
astrofag: and then I reread the rules
astrofag: and it made so much more sense
astrofag: to see each "mode" of game play
astrofag: and have a reference point
2Fat269: I like how, it wasn't sufficient to shut me down in round 3. then comes the troll that if I don't sit for the next EIGHTY MINUTES and lose this game it reflects badly on me someohw
2Fat269: so now I'm fucking sitting here on some sort of dare
astrofag: what are you talking about?
2Fat269: scroll up
2Fat269: I BET YOU NEVER FINISHED A GAME OF MONOPOLY
astrofag: well i guess you can quit at any time
2Fat269: what the FUCK
2Fat269: perfect example
2Fat269: I hit down
2Fat269: to sell
2Fat269: it makes me a BUYER
astrofag: yeah, there are three seconds before the auction starts
astrofag: where you choose buyer or seller by pressing up or down
astrofag: i said that
Round 10 of 12
astrofag: i think you should watch and try out a thing or two
astrofag: this is a great training opporutnity
2Fat269: I don't see any UI cue that shows me when I've left the "mode" where you decide buy vs sell
2Fat269: and when you enter into the "mode" where, now I'm definitely selling
astrofag: oh, you run back to the sideline
2Fat269: and I'd better RUN to the bottom to sell
astrofag: you run to the bottom to sell
astrofag: and when you want to stop
astrofag: you run to the top to the sideline
2Fat269: no I'm saying
2Fat269: I ended up a buyer
2Fat269: because I didn't realize we were in the mode where pressing down would choose that
2Fat269: the UI looks identical to me between
2Fat269: "choose buy vs sell"
astrofag: it says it in the middle of the screen
2Fat269: and
astrofag: I don't think you're reading
2Fat269: "choose your sel price"
2Fat269: sam
2Fat269: I have to admit something to you
2Fat269: very painful
2Fat269: I CAN'T READ
2Fat269: lol
astrofag: i KNEW it
astrofag: so tomorrow i send out my farewell letter
astrofag: HEY U KNOW HOW TO SELL LAND
astrofag: ALL THIS TIME YOU BEEN TROLLING ME
astrofag: YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY
astrofag: oh man u got me good
2Fat269: no.
astrofag: "Press stick to declare buyer or seller'
astrofag: that is the message before auction begins
2Fat269: this is insane
2Fat269: now my girlfriend has gone to bed
2Fat269: and I'm still sitting here
2Fat269: proving some sort of manhood test
astrofag: oh man
astrofag: do you think you're a na'vi?
astrofag: did you see that techcrunch article
astrofag: about people wanting to kill themselves cause they can't be na'vi
astrofag: it was lol
astrofag: "Life seems so colorless. i want to live on pandora"
2Fat269: fuck this. I'm not missing out on getting laid because my gf is asleep while I'm playing this fucking rapefest
2Fat269 left the game
Computer takes over 2Fat269
Round 11 of 12
Round 12 of 12
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