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jagov808
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« on: May 23, 2016, 04:38 » |
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piss jugs for the upcoming season, they will go on sale tomorrow at 9:00 am EST for $29.99 USD. The jug is Nordel green which makes things more discreet if other people stumble upon your jug. $10 will go to charity. If we can raise over $1000 we will send our esteemed British Doctor over to Kazakhstan to provide medical care.
Never again delay a game, or miss a game just starting up. Come prepared, play like the pros, with a Nordel branded piss jug. The opening comes in North American and a slimmer European profile to accommodate our European playing population who require a more bespoke fit.
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jagov808
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« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2016, 19:55 » |
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These things are flying out the warehouse. People love them. We've only got about 2500 left. Act now! Think of how cool you'll look going to LAN parties with your own Nordel Green piss jug. While others take breaks, you can play like a South Korean and go for 24 hours straight. Everyone will envy you. For an extra $5.99 we can send 12 disposable opening liners developed with Motorman, which allow you to share the bottle hygienically with all of your new friends. The bottle comes with a 2500ml capacity giving you the freedom to decide when and where you dispose of the contents.
When was the last time you saw value like this? Don't be embarrassed anymore by having a motley collection of clear plastic jugs hanging around your room. Get the Nordel piss jug today!
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Death_Mule17
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« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2016, 23:04 » |
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Hey man, sweet deals!! Id like to order a nordel green slim please, but id like mine with nordels urine in it for the novelty. Is this possible? If so how much more will i have to pay?, being that anything ordered from nordels fan club site always costs a pretty penny(and the shipping is way too much!).
Also id like a classic nordel squishy head! For those times i just want to break something after a plot loss!
mballs
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jagov808
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« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2016, 20:21 » |
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I would love to offer some genuine nordel urine but that is impossible at this time. We do have a batch in cold storage but the plan is to come out with a line of nordel sportsdrinks. It will have caffeine, fructose, green food colouring and of course some authentic nordel urine. We had nordel on a very strict diet while we were collecting urine for this project.
The product will be marketed primarily through word of mouth. It is expected that motormans demographic would be huge fans of the new product. For those anxious to give it a try as soon as possible, there will be some free giveaways in motormans home town as well as an assortment of small villages in Bavaria.
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jagov808
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« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2016, 00:10 » |
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Now that Nordel is unreliable, perhaps motorman could market the new sports drink.
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motorman
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« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2016, 02:43 » |
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Ah geez DM. Remember that court order that says you're not allowed to have bottles of urine because you hide under bridges and throw them at people? I know you were in a dark place after the pound let you go and you just spent months huffing glue and throwing piss. But you can't go back to that. You can't. Every time you want to throw piss on someone while screaming, "You're my piss friend buy land guy," just think of the disappointed look on the judge's face and how that uncle probably won't give a ride to the courthouse a second time.
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Death_Mule17
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« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2016, 01:34 » |
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Haha, remember the court order that says you cant be in the same province as your mother?, because you refuse to stop fucking her in the ass?? Lets just focus on you getting your balls back shall we? the challenge goes out to moto yet again folks...will this lile bitch ever step up? BEFORE his ratio drops below 50%?
Good day moto!! Sorry i dont have as much time on my hands as you do to creep the forums and ONLY obsess over one person, and come up with silly stories for you to jerk off to.
Mballs
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« Last Edit: October 07, 2016, 01:43 by Death_Mule17 »
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motorman
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« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2016, 00:33 » |
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It's cool DM. You're right. I know you have lots of people to obsess over and can't focus all that energy on me. Right now I imagine you're hard at work at your desk mailing pieces of cats to all those who have wronged you. When I think of that postage bill and the bloody matted clots of hair that must now cover everything you own it forces me to respect your tenacity.
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jagov808
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« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2016, 03:23 » |
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Now that I consider it more thoroughly I forgot about a huge advantage Motorman has in the piss jug industry. He pioneered the shareable jug with those disposable liners. There must be great word of mouth in the community as many have already used those liners on their old Nordel jugs as they have been liberally shared.
If we can discount the bundle (liners plus the jug) people might get excited. There is huge profit margin in those liners and perhaps those customers would be interested in other value added accessories for their jug.
Perhaps Motorman is being shrewd by staying so tight lipped about the details surrounding final pricing and release dates. The biggest threat going forward is the lack of games being played on planet mule these days. It will be important to get the advertising right so that people understand these jugs can be used in a myriad of ways: while playing battlefield 1, on the bus, office cubicle, etc.
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jagov808
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« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2016, 14:57 » |
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Rainbow coloured piss jug liners. Will sell like hotcakes. Moto, you can have that idea royalty-free.
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